


This Gift

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Grimdark, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 05:32:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6457819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leia hates it when they say that Ben's touched, different, or God forbid, special needs. </p>
<p>Because what's so strange about this gift of his? </p>
<p>It's just hearing the voice of his dead grandfather. </p>
<p>Among others.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Gift

~1~

Ben is a quiet child, and it worries his parents.

After all, they are prominent public figures- Leia is running for city governor, well known in many political circles. Han, in shadier and not so legal ones. But that there is no denying that they have not passed on their brasher traits onto the boy.

He prefers doing silent reading to playing with the other children. Building LEGOs to messing about outside.

Ben is a quiet child, always listening to the voices inside his head.

They always said that something was wrong with the Skywalkers.

He is proof of it.

~2~

It takes Ben a long time to learn how to speak. He knows what words are, of course, but it didn’t occur to him that the ones he thought can’t be heard by other people.

Usually, he just has to think them, and the voices will reply immediately.

Though he knows better than to say this aloud.

Because this will lead to new words, hurtful ones. Ones that children whisper into his ears and linger there all day long.

He doesn’t say anything for the rest of the day, too busy hearing them again and again, echoing in his head.

~3~

_Weird._

He is strange, for keeping quiet all the time, for not taking part in their childish conversations, for having no notion of social norms or convention whatsoever.

_Wrong._

There is something broken in him, something that the other children sense immediately and shun, though adults are more ignorant and regard him, or his parents, with a sickening sort of pity.

_Freak._

It would have been fine if Ben isn’t so physically imposing, but he’s barely six years old and already towering over most children his age. He develops the habit of constantly stooping in a futile attempt to hide.

~3~

Leia notices, of course, but she’s often swamped with work. Her friendly hugs and quiet talks with him can only go so far.

Han is no better, notorious for suddenly leaving for weeks at a time, unable to stand the boredom of family life.

So Ben grows up lonely and friendless, kept company by the voices in his head. He does not remember that they are the reason he’s shunned. Now, they are the only things making his exile bearable.

Ani is his favourite, always cracking jokes to make him feel better. The boyish voice always causes Ben to laugh.

~4~

Another reason why Ben likes Ani is because of his knowledge. Ani knows how things work, from television sets to why portable lavatories can’t have toilet paper thrown inside. That doesn’t stop Ben from testing it out, though.

Han jokes about it with his friends for little over a month, with more than a touch of pride in his voice.

Leia does not, and glowers at her son instead.

But when Ani speaks, Ben listens.

**_I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere._ **

He screams when the second graders are brought to the beach.

~5~

 “Mrs Solo?” A young female voice, unfamiliar and slightly hesitant, transmits over the receiver.

“Yes,” Leia replies.

“I’m Ben’s teacher,” the woman says, and Leia is already bracing herself.

“It’s about his very, very strong dislike of sand.”

She’d totally forgotten to inform them earlier, and a tinge of embarrassment colours her voice.

“Oh, I’m so sorry! Was anyone hurt?”

“No, but…” the teacher sounds even more cautious.

“Ben said that somebody called ‘Ani’ told him that sand’s bad.”

“There’s nobody with that name in this school.”

“Are you sure?” Leia asks desperately.

“Maybe it’s a nickname...?”

“Not at all.”

~6~

She rushes down to the picnic area where the children are having lunch.

“Ben! Are you alright?” She wraps him in a hug. His only response is a monetary flicker of the eyes to her, then reverting back to staring into space.

Leia is worried, but covers it up with false cheerfulness.

“Honey, can you tell mommy who told you that sand is bad?” She takes his small hands, and squeezes. It’s the best way to bring him back to reality.

“Ani,” he mutters.

“Where is he?”

He can’t betray Ani. Neither can he lie to her.

He faints instead.

~7~

It was simply too overwhelming.

The voices babbled nonsensically, too indistinct to make out. Except for Ani, a constant, high-pitched litany of ** _don't tell don't tell don't tell_**

Ben wanted to reassure him, but the pressure inside his head was too much.

Leia's face swam in front of him, and shortly later, he blacked out.

The only sound he hears after waking up is that of an ambulatory siren.

His mother clutches his hand tight, and the sensation is not wholly uncomfortable.

For once, it’s quiet inside his mind, and Ben is frightened.

He closes his eyes and sleeps uneasily.

~8~

In Paediatrics, Ben is changed into a pair of teddy bear pyjamas. They run tests on him, and then more.

He is loaded into a strange, donut- like machine, which scans his brain.

He is given pink liquid to drink and sleeps soundly while they do a muscle biopsy.

He is fussed over by large nurses and ignored by interns in equal measure.

He does not cry, or speak a word.

Finally, Ani speaks. He is angry.

Ben’s head is full of the words his father shouts during arguments at home.

It is only then does he cry, rather loudly.

~9~

In the following hours, both parents adopt vastly different approaches to the same problem.

Namely, that of their son.

Their apparently schizophrenic son.

Leia fields questions from the media with her customary calm, patience masking uncertainty and terror.

While telling a reporter that no, she will not pull out of the political race, her mind whirls with the terms doctors used.

_Non-verbal._

_Pronounced auditory hallucinations._

_Occupational or drug therapy_?

Her phone battery goes flat after countless Googling and desperate calls.

She borrows a folding cot and sets it up next to Ben’s bed.

Han flees the hospital and gets drunk.

~10~

"I'm staying overnight with Ben, so take care of yourself."

Leia has finally found a payphone to contact her wayward husband. However, it's Chewie who answers.

She interprets the heavy accent with familiarity, then hangs up in frustration.

She heads back to the Children's Ward, where Ben is waiting.

"Mommy," Ben says to her, face screwed up in an adorable imitation of adult seriousness.

"Is there something wrong with me?"

Leia has absolutely no idea. The only thing she could understand is that they still need to run more tests.

She holds his hand in a silent admittance of defeat. 

**Author's Note:**

> listen and realize


End file.
